My “Love Life”
It’s been 9 months since Fahd and I broke up. It hasn’t been an easy decision on my part, but I had to let him go. We both have our own lives to live. Bitterness overpowered my whole being for a while, but I’ve found it in my heart to forgive both him and myself. I know my mother, brother, some relatives, and friends have been disappointed with the break-up. However, I am convinced that it’s for the better - and look, Fahd’s happy now with his new girlfriend. And I’m fine with being currently committed to the society. “Kasal sa lipunan,” as I fondly put it.
Except for the mind-boggling crush I’ve developed with a comrade, the course of my love life ran smoothly. It has never bothered me much that while my friends always whine about the non-existence of their love lives, I whine about the government and its shortcomings when it comes to the social needs of the Filipino people. My closest friends from years back either have their own families now, or have moved to another country. I have no real barkada to speak of. Basically, my love life (if it can even be called that) consists mainly of my family, friends, and dogs.
My favorite daughter, a Dachshund-Toy Terrier named Bullet (I’ve added 5 pictures, by the way), died about 2 weeks ago. It was painful. I became depressed: eating little or nothing at all, turning in too early in the evening, doing everything mechanically, trying to act normal in school although I was dying inside. My mom was so worried that she decided to accept an offer of another puppy - a Shih Tzu. Although the puppy, which we named Kuchi, was really adorably cute, I put some distance between us. I was afraid that if I invest emotionally with another dog, I might end up heartbroken again.
And I did. Yet again.
Kuchi died yesterday midnight. It was a sudden death; I never knew what caused it (I have a hunch, but that would be totally blaming our house-helper for being careless). She didn’t eat for a day. She showed the same symptoms that Bullet showed, but at least she suffered only a day.
The sounds she made at around 3AM this morning made me look at her. And then I knew - she wouldn’t last long. She was in this weird position I couldn’t explain. She looked pitiful. I didn’t cry. I didn’t. I went upstairs and told my mom about Kuchi. A minute later, I was downstairs again. I took Kuchi into my arms and cuddled her. Then I couldn’t help it any longer.
I broke down.
I just cried, and cried, and cried. I was trying to get over Bullet’s death, and there I was dealing with another one. I didn’t know what to do. I lost strength and sat on the kitchen floor. I held Kuchi close to me, calling her name over and over again. Minutes later, she was gone. She died in my arms. I was holding her when she took her last breath.
I wasn’t kidding my friend when I told him that if I were in a relationship, I’d love my dogs over the guy.
I never learn. Perhaps I should get myself a boyfriend - I don’t cry as much when I’m heartbroken. Why do I always lose the dogs I love?
Shari, don’t get involved too much.
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I don’t do affiliates. I don’t, and have no intention to, know its difference with link exchanges. When I do a link exchange, I always visit the link. Always.
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On another note: Please, family and friends. Quit it. I already know it. So what if Fahd looks like Jan Kurt Nieto of Philippine Idol? I know their resemblance is really unnerving (especially the damn smile), but heavens, do you really have to bombard me with text messages? It doesn’t really matter, does it?
It must be really hard for you. And I can really relate as well. My dog is my world. I don’t know what I would do without him. But as life goes, he eventually will leave this world…
And thanks for putting me in your review-queue, I would really appreciate it!
I’m really sorry about your dogs. It really was painful losing two within a very short time.
Response to :
Hmm … Maybe you should. I bid you good luck on that.
Get a boyfriend. Haha. Good luck on that. Anyway, I’m really sorry about your dogs. My, it must be THAT hard.
aww…
i’m sorry.. and condolence to Kuchi. 
reminds me again of chuchu. 
i find it cute when you love your pets.. over your boyfie. hahah.
and yes.. i think dapat maghanap ka na nga ng bf. hala. mugto na naman tuloy mata mo. :P
Hello
Thanks for the comment 
Aww. It’s a good thing you’ve moved on already.
Gosh. That’s so painful. I hope you’re fine now. Losing two dogs in such a short time? I couldn’t handle that either. I just hope you’re fine already. I mean, I know it’s hard, but sometimes, we just have to move on..
Take care!
Love life…. *sigh*
Anyway, thanks for visitng my site!
I never had a boyfriend, so I can’t really relate with the pain caused by a break-up.
But with the pet ‘heartbreak’,Ii can relate. Even though it’s been years since I had my last pet, the memories are still with me. And oh, how I miss my Pipay.
Malin: Heh, it might take me months. No kidding. Anyway, you’re right. Everybody dies. *sighs*
Aja: As if that’s easy to happen.
Ellie: Yeah, I should, eh?
Dyei: True. Puffy eyes. Who loves ‘em? Heh, my dogs sleep with me. Guys don’t.
Dee, Ayeth, Faye: Thanks for the comment.
can i put it this way?…
sometimes dogs, since they are man’s bestfriend, give up their life for humans… so can we just think 2 dogs saved 2 human life this month? *hug*
extra: ang affiliate ba difference lang nun may thumbnail link? hehe
smile dear.
I really got tears in my eyes when I read your blog about your dog and your new puppy that is gone now too :(. I feel the pain over again when our dog died 4 years ago now :(. That doesn’t happen a lot, I feel so sad for you right now :(. Dogs are so sweet and always there for you and you can’t do anything when they are passing away :(. I hope that you can feel a little better later and think about the good times you had with both of them..
If you need someone to talk you can always send me a message or e-mail me. xoxo Amanda.
Yikes! I’m sorry to hear about your dog!
Yeah, I get attached too easily also, so it’s hard for me to let something go… *sigh*… But I bet a heartbreak is even worse than what I’m sort of going through… Hehe…
Condolence. I’m really sorry about the loss of your dogs. I certainly would not know what to do if I lose my Sirius.
Shari iba ang pagmamahal mo kay Fahd ah!
sabi nla pag mahal mo daw ang isang tao let her/him go kung san sya maligaya
Hhmm .. darating din sayo ang isang tunay na nagmamahal sayo
Omg, Shari, baket naman kawawa namn si Kuchi
argh! siguro kung ako nyan binatukan ko na yong helper, hu hu hu.. ang kyut pa naman ni Kuchi. 
psst yong mga doggy mo pinapakain mo ba ng mga sweets at yong mga boto na maliiit like chicken bones bawal din yan, ang payo ng vet ng doggy ko. Kaya etong doggy ko as in careful kami sa ipapakain. kinakain nito ay ham, beef steak veg. soup with rice at any dog foods. I love my dog soo much parang anak na namin eh!
haay as in naunkot ako dito sa post mo!:(
aw! namatay na naman dog mo? kahit ako nasa kalagayan mo malulungkot din ako. after reading your post namiss ko yung 2 pitbull namen (naiwan kase sa las piñas). sana pagbalik ko dun maabutan ko sila. sana next time na magkaroon ka ng dog hindi na mamatay.
I am truly sorry to hear of the hardships you have encountered recently but I am glad that you have allowed yourself to deal with it productively. I don’t know what I would do if I lost two dogs within 2 weeks, maybe you are feeding them something they are allergic to (chocolate, macademia nuts??) or maybe there is something in the house?? Either way I am really sorry and I hope you begin to feel better soon!
Sorry to hear about your dog. Losing a pet is really hard because you become so emotionally attached to them and really, they can do no wrong. I’m like that with my pets also in a way. When I thought I’d lost my cat, who was only gone for a day, I broke down and cried in front of everyone and I NEVER cry in front of anyone. I’m like a robot.
Condolences…
I think, you were hurt that much simply because you loved that much. In your dog’s shoes, I feel really lucky to have met you because you showed me so much love even if I’m just a pet.
So stop feeling down… *pats* *pats*
I’m sorry about Kuchi. But I suggest you clean your house (as in disinfect) before you consider getting another dog. There might be traces of poison in your house. It happened to one of my dogs once.
My condolences to you, your family, and your pets. May they rest in peace.
whoa… dog over guy? interesting…
aaawww… i’m sorry to hear that. i’m looking for a new dog, maybe we could go ‘dog-hunting’ one time! haha
not again… i’m sorry to here that kuchi died. it’s really hard to forget somebody that has been emotionally attached to us.
yeah.. i think you should find a boyfriend.
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is misteryosa your wp.com username? i tried entering it but nothing happened.
Dogs. Boyfriends. Ohhh, is it just me, or is this post stinking with too much bitterness?
Nice “Hello” post.
Thanks for dropping by!
Cheers!
hi shari
It’s me Grace (never-been) sana naaalala mo pa. I hope na maging ok ka na, alam mo ganyan din ako nung namatay yung fave. dog ko, si Ahboo. Na depressed din ako, kasi sa tagal ba naman naming nakasama sya eh biglang mawawala na lang sya, well kung iisipin ok na din yun, kasi nagkasakit si Ahboo, at nakita ko kung pano sya naghirap, nakakalungkot talaga. Ngayon ayaw ko na magalaga ng aso
last na talaga si Ahboo, ang hirap nang magalaga ngayon eh 
Oh si Fahd, yes naaalala ko sya! hehe, 9 months na pala, matagal na din yun ah, its nice to hear from you na ok kayo, masaya sya sa bagong lovelife nya and same as yours, oppss pa crush-crush nalang muna tayo
Oh sige Shari
ingat ka nalang
sorry about everything. hope things start looking up.
i know its hard to let go and stuff. i know loads of ppl who would love their pets over a guy and i think its normal and cool. you go girl. but i really hope you feel better. 
OMG THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. whats happening why are your pets passing away like this?? im so sorry for your lost they are so precious i know this is breaking your heart.
Dogs are so much more lovable than boyfriends. But aww.. my condolences that your two dogs died T_T
Oh.. how did that happen the same way… >_
I’ve never had a “love life” - yes, I’ve been single all my life, and I don’t complain… I see no point in doing so… I guess sometimes it’s better to leave things as they are, then continuing on with a relationship. I’m sorry to hear about your two doggies. My sister suffered a similar situation, not too long ago. She, however, didn’t lose them so closely toghether. One died for some reason, we’re not sure; the second one was stolen; the third “committed” suicide… it jumped off the moving car. I hope you feel better soon… *hugs*…. Wanna link exchange?
Shari… I don’t want to accuse anyone here, but I think its possible that someone could be poisoning your dogs. Yet again, a loved one has passed and I’m just so deep in pain for you. I can’t imagine having that double dose of death. You are just not the luckiest the person right now. Anyway, if Kuchi experienced the same symptoms as Bullet, then something just doesn’t seem right. I really think you should investigate this some more.
I really wish I knew what to say =[ It seems like I’ve already said everything, but I still feel I need to comfort you somehow. I’m a fellow dog lover and I still having issues with my dog’s (from years ago) death. It is so hard. Its one of the most painful experiences.
I think you’re very strong.
reply lang ako dun sa comment mo sa site ko: i wasn’t offended at all. yeah, there are books that are way better and cheaper than the harry potter books!
awwww. grabe ka pala ma-involved. hug na lang kita.
The last time I owned a dog, I was in grade school. I didn’t bawl my eyes out when she died, but I never owned another dog since. I turn to plants and fishes. The plants I own are extremely low-maintenance and many would argue that cold-blooded animals aren’t really pets.
I am never really good in dealing with death. Crying is a good thing.. Can’t remember the last time I did.
I was gonna say the “Fish in the sea” cliche but you already know that.
Hi Shari. I’m very sorry to know that you lost another dear friend. I know you were very heartbroken when you lost Bullet. I’m sad to hear that Kuchi, your new dog has left you too. I realized how painful that may be for you. I hope bullet and kuchi are now playing together, wherever they are. Take care and hope things will get better somehow.
[...] Imagine, an activist. And him, of all people. How terrible. Blah. (note: I admitted who he is in this post, just in case you’re wondering [...]
Reading this… got me sad and reminiscing about my old dog who got killed by a hit-and-run driver.
His name was Prente. Best friend a little girl could have.
Your ex BF looked like that Idol guy? Whoah, sorry… but gotta say… pretty hot. But then again, appearances aren’t everything. Substance over surface.