I Suck at Making Friends
It’s one of those things that I seem to cannot do properly at all. No wonder I’m a loner most of the time. I wish I could blame my lack of friends to the fact that I’ve transfered from one school to another ever since I was in grade school, but really, it’s…me.
Excuse my confusing musings. Allow me to chronicle my life here.
My “best friends” in elementary were Nikki Cruz and Cristina Roque. Nikki and I had a falling out when she told Ace that I was crushing on him, and it’s because she was crushing on him too. Ahh, complicatedly funny, eh? Cristina, however, was an awesome person. We both liked R. L. Stine, Christopher Pike, and Nancy Drew books. We exchanged letters (and I mean with stamped envelopes) though we saw each other everyday. I also got friendly with “the elite” people in class. We were inseparable, until the time when my family moved to Quezon City.
Of course I had to transfer to a QC school — my brother’s current school. Fifth grade. I was well-received by the people, they liked me, I liked them, we were happy, blah blah blah. I was even doing well, acads-wise. I had formed a tight bond with some “quiet” people in my class, and we’d visit each other’s houses from time to time. That changed in high school.
Only five in my school passed the entrance examination in this certain secondary school where everyone was hoping to get into. It was hard for me, making new acquaintances in a school where competition and plastikan were the keys to success. I wasn’t happy, but I was lucky enough to find few good people who were down-to-earth in spite of their achievements. My second year was ultimately better; I found Farina, Carmina, Angeli and Rachel, and we were all in the Top 10 of the class. Third year was awful. I got used and abused by a certain monster who back-stabbed and abandoned me in the most trying part of my life (read: serious family problem).
Quit school for a year. The principal of the school asked me to continue my last year in high school there. I refused. I left home, got accepted into a relatively well-known school, and continued my education. Was a damn good student, except for the part where I incurred many absences, enough for the school to kick my ass just for the first trimester (for the record, I was absent more than half of the school year). But they didn’t, said I was a gem (just because I aced my exams despite my absences; was highest in some of them even), and patted me on the back. That being said, some people got friendly with me. You know, to get answers during quizzes and exams. For the first time in my life, I cheated. Haha. It was fun though. I had few close friends, but they were all great, so no complaints there.
College? Started out fun, wore off in the middle, and now gone. Good thing there were those people called Ange, Jez and Love. Incredible people, they are. Got involved briefly in two school organizations. Period.
So now…where do I start?
Nikki, Cristina and Ace are on my Friendster friends list. One of the very few moments I’m glad Friendster exists. Cristina and I have talked a few times, the last time being 5 years ago or so. Ace is, I heard, a member of UST Salinggawi and, if my intuition is right, a gay. I exchange SMS with some people from my second school, but that’s it. No chance to hang out with them. Sad.
Farina and I see each other from time to time. I’ve no news about Carmina, Angeli and Rachel, but I’m sure they’re doing well. Some people — classmates and batchmates alike — from my fourth school have left comments on my Friendster, and they all bring back funny memories.
It’s really sad that I haven’t been able to sustain the friendship with them. The occasional messages sent over the internet are not enough to preserve the closeness we once had. They don’t ease the pain, the feeling of losing someone special to me. Keeping ties with friends has always been a challenge; I have difficulty doing it. In fact, I can’t do it at all.
So, blog friends, please don’t forget to keep in touch with me, eh? Maybe if you help me maintain the friendship we have, I’d suck a little less. 
It’s not easy making connections - and keeping them - when we all lead such busy lives. You write eloquently about the challenge of maintaining friendships these days. I hope you know that you’re not alone, that pursuing friendships can sometimes be very lonely indeed.
But for someone who writes so well, I am sure you’ll find your fair share of friends over the years.
I can relate to this one. Every time I enter a new school, i.e. transition from elementary to high school, high school to college—I tend to lose touch with my friends. But I also, defensively, think it’s a two-way street.
Just a week ago my high school friends planned this meetup down south (P’que), and it’s not really fun when you’re up north (QC). Ang sagot sa kin, “eh kesa naman sa Laguna no!” (’Cause one of us came from LB.) Hayyy. Ang hirap!
Lately all my elem schoolmates have been adding me on Facebook. Yeah, surprisingly they’re over there now. :P
people are just there. friends will naturally come. i myself transferred from one school to another during my student years. but trust me. friends (whom you may consider) are just scattered around. when you bump into them, you’ll know.
Wala kang kawala sa Crew, hehe.
In my case, I feel I’m more “connected” with my elementary and high school friends even if we don’t communicate regularly.
My college friends are mostly in QC like me, but we don’t have time for gimiks anymore.
It’s difficult to maintain relationships with people from the past… especially when people change, grow… have different interests, etc… I only managed to keep in touch with just a few from university. It’s just hard… everyone’s at a different stage in their lives…
Umm, I don’t know if you read my latest post, but umm, I did offer to give you my PWA show and after-party ticket… that is, if you’re within vicinity of the venue and if you care to go. Maybe you can make new friends there.
Let me know.
L8tr days.
Hey don’t be so hard on yourself. Like Fruity said, it’s hard to maintain relationships with people from the past. It’s so much easier with people you see every day. It requires a lot more effort to keep in contact with old friends.
In my experience, friends do come and go. There’s this best guy friend I have during high school, who was my number 1 enemy when I was in elementary (hehe). Since college started, he seemed to have undergone self-imposed exile. At first there were still text messages, but after a while even the text messages stopped. We cannot prevent our friends from going. It’s just that when someday we see them again, we’ll just remember the friendship and continue on from there :-)
Parehong-pareho tayo (though I didn’t encounter that serious family problem other than financial instabilities and stuff). Parang I was reading my own biography. Kaya nga I really love “One Hundred Years of Solitude” (though in fact the book doesn’t adhere on lonesomeness-anong connect?)
though seriously, I’ve admitted ever since na I’s not really friendly talaga before, like me and my Illustrated Factopedia and my Hentai and my PC and blah. Ganun lang. The rest was honor roll plasticity. Agh, ayoko nang i-share. Saka na lang when I have the mood.
Keep in touch? Okay. I touch you… ugh.. err… no, I can’t. I can only touch my LCD screen.
I guess I’m pretty much the same. I haven’t talked to most of my high school friends since graduation. I suck that much. :|
I’ll keep in touch with you.
I’m talking to you in YM now 
“The occasional messages sent over the internet are not enough to preserve the closeness we once had. They don’t ease the pain, the feeling of losing someone special to me. Keeping ties with friends has always been a challenge; I have difficulty doing it.”
Yep, I know EXACTLY what you mean by that! That’s my problem there also…. =/ A lot of the times, that is, not all the time. LOL…
But yeah, hopefully we won’t lose touch either!
I can relate, in a different way though. Yung mga high school/college mates ko remained friends till now. Celebrating a decade of friendship already hehe…
But when I started working - I suck at gaining new close friends.
Keeping in touch with friends..something I really sucked at. I think it’s related to my almost pathological shyness back then. Problem ko na lang ngayon is iba talaga sense of time ko.. minsan weeks or months ko na pala di nakakausap/nakakainteract isang tao pero di ko napapansin. I’m changing that though.
Shari, friends tayo ha?
hehe
(nga pala, di ko pa nasabi sa yo na nagmove na ko. I abandoned Fighting Gravity for good ^^)
[...] sumagot sina Maru, Jovi, Selvo, Panjeet, Manilenya, Shari at Defpotec. At makapagbahagi din ng payo ang mga kabataan ngayon: Bikoy, Kevin, Jhed, PadreSalvi [...]
gaga, i’ve been your blogbuddy since before yung family issue mo? i recall reading some of your posts about it. not too sure.
natakot ako dito sa post mo eh. kasi nga i have 2 bestfriends back home and recently lang napapaisip ako if everything’s gonna be the same when i come home.. then i realized it won’t be.
per sha, basta, keep in touch with them lang, ok na yun. and try hard to hang out with them.
*sigh*
and u DO NOT SUCK at making friends! pramis.
i dont make friends easily too. i attended this review class a year ago and for two months i did not meet anyone. ahahahaha