On Dildos, Vibrators, and My New Lighter

This is mostly because I cannot stand the emoshittyness of my previous entry anymore. Be warned, though, that this deals with a “mature” subject. ;) If you easily cringe at the thought of sex (NOT having sex, mind you), then run along now, child. This entry is definitely not for you.

My mom asked me to contact Clarissa of Pleasure Inc to place an order for a Strap-on Willie she and her friends are planning to give their lesbian friend. I’ve mentioned before that I got something from the same online shop, right? ;) See, my mom and I are really close. Besides, sex is not something I’m afraid to talk about (although I admit that I honestly don’t know much about it…certainly not as much as Pierre and Sorsi do, so there really isn’t a Shari/Sorsi sex stand-off). Why else would I write TEH acceptance speech for the blog awards anyway, right? :))

It’s not that I’m a fan of dildos or vibrators. In fact, I’ve always told my friends that if I were to do “the dirty deed,” I’d rather do it with someone than do it with something, if you know what I mean. Sure, with the creation of stuff like the ever famous acsexsory OhMiBod (if you’re from the Philippines and you’re planning to buy the music-powered vibrator, head on over to Feelgood.com.ph and say you’re a reader of my blog, and they’re gonna give you a 20% discount, hehe), it gets tempting to have fun even without a man. But I like to think that nothing beats the real thing. There’s nothing like the real thing. :p

Vente Lighter So anyway, back to the subject. After my mom asked me to visit the online store, she gave me something that was just plainly awesome: a lighter. I’ve seen a lighter before, thankyouverymuch, but this was not just another lighter. I do keep a lighter handy, but it’s Ange’s because her mom might see and take it, as always the case. But my amazing lighter? It’s special and unique enough for me to squeal with delight. It’s pretty big, so when my mom first told me to “flick” it on, I knew something would pop up, and it certainly wouldn’t be a normal flame, by all means.

What? You didn’t notice anything odd? Look again.

Vente Lighter - open

I’m betting you already see what makes my new lighter a really special one. :)

On Dildos, Vibrators, and My New Lighter was posted by Shari on Friday, July 27, 2007 under Uncategorized. It currently has 45 responses. You can add your own, or trackback from your site.

45 Responses

  1. Jhed

    I have to admit, I have a fetish for sex toys. LOL. I’ve always wanted to try to do it with something rather than someone. :)) Although I’ve never really owned or used one before.

    Do you happen to know a Fleshlight is? Haha! Yeah, that’s like the best toy ever! :))

  2. Talamasca

    ZOMG YOU SICK FUCK!!!11!11!!11!1 :D

    There’s nothing like the real thing.

    Oh yeah! And don’t forget BIG!!! Dontcha like ‘em BIIGGG!!!111??? LOLX. :clap:

  3. ayiene

    isa lang: OMG. o_O

  4. Helga

    Hahahahahahahahaha I love cock and I love sex, but I wouldnt want that lighter :P

  5. Kris

    Uhm.. is this turning into some kind of “porn blog”?

    Start smoking in public and let’s see how “conservative” your typical pinoy(ermm..more of like “pinay”) is. Hehe

  6. Malin

    Quite a lighter you got there hehe ;)

  7. Chette

    graduate na ako sa mga ganyan. Good girl na me hehehe :)) pero… about dildo.. di ko naisipan gumamit nyan sakit nyan noh -_-

  8. Austin

    Shari… *squints* I don’t see anything?? *scrolls down more*

    WHOAAAAAAAA

    Creative imagination people have these days.. creative indeed

  9. atomicgirl

    now that’s what you call a lighter. (i think it can pretty much get more people to smoke… haha!) :boogie:

  10. Ade

    Um.

  11. asia

    how about pierre-shari-sorsi threesome?

    pierre, can you handle them?

  12. Shari

    @Jhed, what?! I’d have thought you’ve done it with something already, hehe. Fleshlight? *does a quick Google search* Oh. My. God! Haha!

    @Tala, of course I want it BIG! The “It’s not in the size, it’s in the performance” thing they talk about is just shit. Hurrah for BIG! :D

    @Ayiena, cover your eyes, quick!

    @Helga, what? You don’t want a little nookie on the side? Hehe. ;)

    @Kris, boo. This isn’t porny. :p Ahh, the great “conservative” argument. I already know that. That’s why when I say the Philippines, I always put quotation marks on “conservative.” :p

    @Malin, sadly, it wouldn’t light a stick of cigar. ;)

    @Chette, weeh, I’ve never been a good girl eh, haha. Dildo’s painful? Depends on how you look at it siguro. :)

    @Austin, true, true. Can’t even imagine how they came up with those stuff. :D

    @Atomicgirl, only it doesn’t have “fiiiirrrrreeee” haha

    @Ade, ;)

    @Asia, huwwaaat? LOL! Well, Pierre? Haha.

  13. Juice

    Damn Shari, I’ve been craving for some sex toys and here you are making a blog post about it! Hahahaha.

    That lighter is so spiffy!

  14. billycoy

    OH MY!? mah virgin eyes are tainted!

    wala bang ‘lighter’ for men?

  15. kubi

    heya shari! na-miss ko mga post mo. and this one certainly doesn’t disappoint :clap:

    your lighter is a result of years of lighter evolution. it is a descendant of the naked girl lighter. :D

  16. Kyels

    The lighter is so cool!

    :D

  17. Jon Limjap

    It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “kasing-liit ng lighter yung t* niya!”

  18. Gigi

    I have to say that these toys have their charms. (1) It’s all about you and what makes you feel good (2) If you’ve tried the “right” toys (meaning, the right ones for you), you’d wonder why you didn’t try them sooner (3) You don’t have to wait for someone to just get it over with, finish someone off, wonder when he’s going home OR why he just wants to roll over and go to sleep, be paranoid about how you look naked or if you were any good, etc. etc.

    They certainly can’t replace the “real thing” but in-between they’re a whole lot of fun. Better yet, they do help you figure out what rocks your world. :)

  19. Roanne

    Nice! So, what does it do exactly if it can’t light a cig? It seems too small for the hole down there. Heh.

    I have a special friend myself. My boyfriend named him ‘The Butler’. It’s a satisfactory companion, but yes, you’re totally right, there’s nothing like the real thing. A dildo/vibrator can’t throw you onto the bed, call you a slut, pound your pussy, or slather your face with candy. ;)

  20. Eina

    That’s an interesting lighter. o_O

    … I never knew stuff like that could be found back home (sa Pinas, haha). Not that I was ever looking for one, mind you, I just never thought of it, hahahaha.

    But still. Interesting lighter. Really o_O

  21. dotep

    akala ko naman Zippo yung bago mong lighter! hehe…

    hindi makakasunog yan, makakabuo pa ng tao… hehe

  22. heneroso

    umaapoy ba yan!? o kelangan pa kiskisin bago umapoy?

  23. Teelia

    That is the most peculiar thing I’ve seen. It’s sooo interesting!
    I’m glad you and your mom are that close enough! Heheh

  24. Simply Precious

    LOL, wow… I can’t believe your mom asked you to do that! Hahaha.

  25. Nina

    ive been wanting to get a vibrator for myself, but i havent gotten the chance. for christmas last year, i got my friend (who broke up with her 2yr bf 3 days before christmas) a dildo and she threw it back at me. i thought i could keep it for myself but then she took it. hanggang ngayon wala pa din sha bf. hahaha. =]

    that’s an AWESOME lighter, yes a very special one!! lol

  26. Isagani X

    Balik na kami sa operation, baka sipagin ka na mag contribute na para sa SaWariKo ganon pa rin ang rules… :P

  27. Nanda

    Interesting lighter. Never seen such thing before. It’s nice that your mum and you are so close (me and my mum are too), but mine would never ask me to do something like that, lol! I hope you’ll enjoy your lighter!

  28. Kaisa

    If I mention anything sex related to my Mum, she first turns bright red, then asphyxiates and finally rips my head off for being so crude :P

    But that lighter is kind of cool ;) I know my sister would just love to have one of those!

  29. Rozeh

    wow. what a lighter. :yay:

    if ever, I have something like that, i don’t know if I’ll ever use it in public! haha.

  30. Raymond

    Wow that’s cool that you and you are mum are so close and talk about sex openly. My parents was just okay with it haha.. There are thousands of toys out there but I didn’t get anyone cos I know someone in my house would freak out LOL… Well that’s a pretty interesting lighter heh..

  31. emsa

    haha i cant believe your mom is as crazy as you.

    pero teka, nag yoyosi ka ba?

  32. Aravis

    The Internetz took away my innocence. :(( I didn’t blush at this entry anymore. XD

  33. L.A

    I miss my Talong :(

  34. YNA

    Well, your mom rocked at that one! An applause for her!

  35. Arlo

    It really is cool talking openly with our parents about sex. I think that helps.

    Shari.. *teasing voice* What are you doing with the lighter, Shari?.. :clap:

  36. Ann

    You have an awesome mom. Ibang level na. :))

  37. Jake The Miserable

    Homaygas. Me and my virgin eyes. LOLz. =))

    Simula ngayon, medyo on-the-watch na ako sa tuwing makikisindi ako ng yosi. :D

  38. the jester-in-exile

    Response to 9526:

    how about pierre-shari-sorsi threesome?

    pierre, can you handle them?

    shari, asia, i’m shocked! i’m a good boy.

    and i mean, very very very good.

    (wahaha.)

  39. in retrospect… -- tech, personal, love, travels, and life blogging of a deranged man

    [...] talks about her most favorite subjects in life, On Dildos, Vibrators, and My New Lighter… be abused amused, and be ready to bawl over with laughter with this post… really [...]

  40. WiLL

    Now this post is something totally…different…from the other posts I read before. Truly enlightening. Hehehehehe.

  41. Rach

    The things they design these days. :)

  42. Skye

    lol What a cute lighter… Where can I get one? :dance: hahaha By the way, happy birthday!

  43. Elonedusenurn

    You don’t really need or want that lifestyle, it might hurt y’all slowly more…….Just tell him you
    don’t wanna repeat something your not too proud of z7uas.

  44. Response to the ‘Anonymous’ Letter « MISTERYOSA | The Personal Website of Shari Cruz

    [...] had my fair share of sexual-related blog entries, and Kris has had the mind to tell me my blog is getting porny Still, sex is fun. And it sells. And you worry too damn [...]

  45. zyra

    hey! can you give me idea on where to buy here in the philippines about that dildo with a strap? im quite curios. hahahah! :lol:


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